Lady Arelia

Why positivity will only get you so far.

There’s this weird thing happening in spiritual circles where people think enlightenment means walking around like everything’s perfect all the time. Smiling through shit. Affirmations on repeat. “Good vibes only” plastered like it’s a personality trait.

That’s not spiritual growth. That’s called lying to yourself.

Joy isn’t something you perform. It’s not something you fake until you make it. It’s an effect. Not a cause. It’s a byproduct that flows naturally when you’re actually aligned. And you can’t align yourself by pretending you’re not feeling what you’re feeling.

Pretending everything is fine while you ignore what you don’t want to see is just operating from scarcity. That’s you saying “my current reality isn’t good enough, so I’m going to pretend it’s something else.” And the universe hears that. It hears you rejecting what is. And when you’re constantly rejecting what is, you can’t shift into what could be. You’re stuck.

Accepting What Actually Is

You have to accept your life exactly as it is right now. Not tolerate it. Not endure it. Accept it. Because if you’re spending all your energy wishing things were different, then you’re not being present. And if you’re not present, you can’t shift timelines. You can’t manifest. You can’t do shit except stay exactly where you are while pretending you’re somewhere else.

This is the part that trips people up. They think acceptance means giving up. It doesn’t. It means you stop fighting reality long enough to actually work with it instead of against it.

When you’re constantly holding onto what your life isn’t, whether that’s the relationship you don’t have, the money you don’t have, the body you don’t have, you’re operating from lack. And lack attracts more lack. That’s common sense shit.

Calm Is Higher Than Happy

Everyone’s chasing joy like it’s the finish line. But calmness is actually the higher frequency. Calm is where real power lives.

Low-frequency emotions like anger, sadness, depression, or chaos are optional. They’re not automatic responses to bad things happening. They’re patterns you’ve practiced. Habits. Something goes wrong and you immediately drop into anger or spiral into sadness because that’s what you’ve trained yourself to do.

But you don’t have to. You can learn to stay calm. Not numb. Not detached. Calm. Centered. Present. Something negative happens and you just… sit with it. No immediate reaction. You don’t shift into panic mode or rage mode or the universe hates me mode. You just exist with it without letting it control you.

That’s emotional control. Not controlling which emotions you have, but thinking through them calmly, regardless of what’s happening around you.

You Have to Embrace the Negative

You can’t have positive without negative. That’s basic science. And they’re not enemies either. They’re the same thing, just different ends of the spectrum. So when you try to avoid everything negative, when you refuse to sit with uncomfortable emotions, you’re blocking yourself from actually experiencing the positive too.

This is where fake positivity falls apart. People think they’re supposed to reject the negative and only accept the positive. But that’s not how energy works. You have to be willing to sit in the negative when it shows up. Feel it. Accept it. Not because it’ll never change, but because you don’t need it to.

When you can sit in sadness without spiraling. When you can feel anger without letting it consume you. When you can be in discomfort without immediately trying to escape, that’s when you start to actually shift your frequency.

Your Frequency Changes the Room

Here’s the thing: you’re either influenced by the energy around you, or your energy influences what’s around you. Most people are just picking up whatever frequency is strongest in the room and it’s usually not theirs. Someone’s mad, they get mad. Someone’s anxious, they get anxious. They’re just reacting to whatever’s happening externally.

But when you develop real emotional control, when you can stay calm and centered regardless of what’s happening, you become the frequency that others start matching. You walk into chaos and the chaos settles. Not because you’re forcing it. But because your frequency is stronger, more stable. And energy always moves toward the strongest alignment.

That’s when joy starts flowing naturally. Not because you’re chasing it or faking it. But because you’re operating in your actual spirit frequency. And when you’re there, all the “fruit of the spirit” the peace, the joy, the love, so on. Those just become natural byproducts. They’re the fruits that grow when the tree is rooted right.

You can’t perform your way into that. You can’t affirmation your way into that. You have to actually do the work of accepting where you are, sitting with what is, and staying calm in your knowing even when everything around you is chaos.

That’s the difference between fake happy and real frequency.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​